Almost 26 years ago I held my first precious baby in my arms. She was so perfect. I was going to be the best mother she could ever have. 21 months later, after a miscarriage, her brother arrived. Although my husband and I thought we could never love a second child as much as we had loved our first and share this love, we did!!! Because the love we have for our children doesn’t need to be split, it multiplies.
Another miscarriage and baby number 3. Life was busy and this baby would not sleep. I knew in my heart that children are a blessing but I felt like I was drowning. We had hoped to have 4 children but now we could barely survive and we were done!!! Well, the Lord had other plans for us as He blessed us with 7 more after that.
But if I could go back, even as a grandmother (and still the mother of a 7 yr old) what would I tell the younger me in that season of busy?
I know that being in a sound, biblical church is probably the greatest blessing because as parents are being fed and transformed by the faithful preaching of the Word, in turn the whole families are being transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit.
I see so many young mothers in our church that are doing such a wonderful job at faithfully training their children. Reaching out for advice. Putting what they learn into practice.
Here are some points that may be encouraging or helpful.
Slow down: This is but a season that will pass so quickly. Not a season to simply endure but to embrace. I know you’ve heard it before and you may feel like you can barely make it through each day, but some day there will not be another diaper to change, another hurt to kiss, another “can I have a glass of water” after putting them to bed. And yes, there will be a time when disciplining will look very different and when you will feel like your heart is running around.
Soak in the moments with your little ones. Train, teach, discipline and remember they are not yours, but God’s. We are but stewards.
Be faithful: We cannot be perfect parents. We will all have times when we make mistakes and have to ask forgiveness of our children. But we are called to be FAITHFUL. According to Webster’s dictionary it means to be “constant in the performance of duties or services, as a faithful servant”.
Martha Peace has said, “Faithfulness, not perfection, is rewarded by the Lord. That’s because we can no more live a sinless life than we can make our children do the same thing.”
Don’t be too distracted and busy to sit and read the same story for the 100th time. Faithfully teach your little children, it takes A LOT of repetition for them to learn but they do learn. Don’t be misled by a culture that requires everything worthwhile to be fast.
Be faithful in being in the Word with your children. They are never too young to learn the habit of family devotions. When you need to discipline go to God’s Word and use a physical Bible. A great resource is https://www.childtrainingbible.com/
Be a faithful mother. “Faithfulness knows no difference between small and great duties.” John Ruskin
Know your limits: Maybe if you are feeling overwhelmed it is because you are trying to do too much. Or you need to ask for help. Maybe you don’t have family close by but there are ladies in your church that would be more than happy to lend a hand.
Take bite sizes in your homemaking so that things don’t get out of control.
Priorities: Sometimes we get overwhelmed because we don’t know how to make priorities. We are so busy doing many “good” things but they may be things we aren’t called to be doing in this season. There may be activities or commitments you should cut out. Ask your husband, he can help you decide what is most important.
It is a very foundational season in the life of your children. The time you spend with your young children training in godly living and disciplining is essential.
You may need to also cut out distractions from your life. Are you getting frustrated because your little one interrupted you while you were scrolling the internet? Was he actually disrespectful? Or just seeking his mommy’s attention? Time can be wasted so quickly, dear friend we cannot go back in time and re-live those precious years with our children.
Rest in God’s sovereignty: I’m a planner. I like my days to go smoothly and I used to get so ruffled when something came in the way of my planning. That’s because I didn’t understand yet that “the heart of man plans his way, but Yahweh directs his steps.” Prov.16:9
Whenever things don’t go as we wanted it is an opportunity to exercise trust in the Lord. A sudden sickness, a blown diaper on the way out the door, a tantrum in the grocery store, a crying fit in church (we used to practice sitting in church during the week 🙂 ) those are all times when we can grow in Christ likeness. How do we handle it? Our children are watching and learning.
Be encouraged, the Lord has ordained for you to mother your children. With their personalities, challenges, age order and gender. He knows what we need to sanctify us best. Praise the Lord.
~ Christelle G.
